‘She paid $420 for her funeral? Wow!’

Sean's first question to me was a bit of a shocker: "Is Therese Pinard still alive?"

His second question was also a shock: "Did you know that in 1976 your aunt made all her funeral arrangements?"

At that time, she was 67 years old. After a discussing on what she had arranged the third shock came when Sean told me that she had paid all of $420 for her funeral. "I can imagine that the price has gone up quite a bit since 1976," I told Sean.

"You're right," he stated. "But the contract stands and it won't cost you anything. When you need our services, give me a call. "

My Aunt Therese died on the 12th of April, 2007. She was 97 years old. With Sean's help, all I had to do was to finalize the preparations for her funeral, sign the necessary papers, write the obituary for the newspaper notice, choose the flowers and arrange for the reception. The service was beautiful, and all went well. A few months later, when the time came for the urn burial Sean once again was there for the gravesite service. Standing by her grave, I promised myself that I would follow her example and make the funeral arrangements for my husband and myself.

My turn now

In early July 2009 once again I walked the short path leading to the Whelan Funeral Home on Cooper Street, a quaint three story brick Victorian home that reminds me of my grandmother's house. I don't enjoy going to a funeral home -- and this time I felt especially weird since I was there to make my own funeral pre-arrangements.

Although I had decided to do this at my aunt's gravesite I had put it off feeling that there was no real need to rush. After all, we were both in good health and I still considered ourselves young. My husband was in his early seventies and I was in my late sixties. Besides, I belonged to a family where most died in their late nineties. I had an aunt who died at 102. I could easily see myself living another good 30 years. The question was, "Would I? Would we?" I thought of my aunt, who had never married, and had thought enough about those she left behind to make her funeral so easy. She had left me with this great gift and I owed it to my daughter to return the favour.

Death: A taboo topic

Every one of us, at one time in our life, will come face to face with death. It stands to reason that talking about it makes us feel uncomfortable. By the nature of the topic no one likes to think of death, especially their own. We tend to shy away from any discussion about funerals. To bring up this topic with our children frightens them. Any mention of this to our daughter makes her cringe. Even my husband was unwilling to discuss funeral plans. How can we expect our wishes to be known if we cannot discuss them openly? When we do die, how can we expect the bereaved to take a step back and close themselves off from their overwhelming emotions to think rationally and make the right decisions?