Passive behaviour can stop you from getting ahead in your career. What to watch out for, and how to be more assertive in the workplace.

Your boss wants you to work late again — but you can’t say no. Your team members don’t listen to your ideas. You’re shy about making suggestions or speaking up in meetings, or you’re letting things slide because you want to avoid an argument. You want people to like you — and you want to keep your job no matter what the cost.

Sound familiar? Few people want to be “the bad guy” or to “rock the boat” (especially in a rough economy) but that instinct can be more harmful than helpful. Experts warn that passive behaviour — where you constantly put aside your own needs, rights and opinions — can actually have a negative impact on your career.

The mistakes we make

Isn’t it better to “play along” or be “easy-going”? No — because we’re often trading short-term rewards for long-term problems. For example, passive workers often think they’re doing the right thing when they make these mistakes:

- Avoiding confrontation. You’re dodging stressful conflicts with a co-worker, but ultimately your long-term relationship with that person suffers for a want of good communication. If you’re the one in charge of others, your workers may take advantage of the situation and your boss may think you lack strong leadership skills.

- Holding back your opinions (especially ones that contradict someone else’s). You think you’re keeping the peace by “going with the group”, but you’re actually sending the message that your opinions don’t matter, you don’t have anything to contribute or you lack confidence. In any case, you’re losing the chance to demonstrate your skills and expertise while others have an opportunity to shine.

- Always agreeing. You want to be agreeable and known as the “nice guy”, but you could be losing people’s respect because they know you’re not being straightforward. Your “yes” doesn’t hold much weight because you’re always saying it, and people will wonder what you aren’t telling them.

- Covering for others. Making up for other people’s less-than-stellar work only reinforces the idea that what they’re doing is acceptable. For example, if you re-write coworkers’ reports rather than addressing the workmanship, they’ll go on thinking nothing is wrong and they won’t learn anything.

- Not saying no to extra work. Taking on extra projects when you’re plate is already full and staying late may make you look good at work, but what about outside the office? Your family and friends — as well as your boss — will quickly learn that work is your number one priority and they’ll act accordingly.