They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it also takes a village — at best a supportive community, and at the least a few very good friends — to keep a person sane and happy. All of us need companionship, which is exactly why teenagers are texting their friends in the middle of dinner (TMI, BFF, OMG …), and why people who didn’t own a personal computer last year now have profiles on Facebook, My Space, and other social-networking sites.
Beyond Blue reader Rock wrote: “I am 56 years old and it’s a comfort to me to read how many of you have experienced what I have in feeling lonely and not able to make friends and connect with people.” So many others have articulated the same. Even those in happy marriages or committed relationships, even those surrounded by people who know their name. In our hearts, we all crave for the deep connection that a graced friendship can offer.
Maybe the first trick to finding friends is to befriend ourselves, and to become comfortable with silence, because no one has the power to make us feel okay with ourselves but us. But, lest we stay quiet for too long, here are 13 techniques to meet new friends, which I think everyone can benefit from, because, as I learned in Girl Scouts a few hundred years ago (where I didn’t make any friends)… some are silver and the others are old, I mean gold.
Join a book club
Am I in one? Heck no. I don’t have time. And if I did, I wouldn’t read novels or a book straight through, from cover to cover. Remember, I suffer from poor concentration and was saved by CliffsNotes back in high school and college. But most of my friends are in book clubs, and, I have to admit, I’m a little envious of the discussions that happen in these groups.
If your neighborhood doesn’t have a book club, you can usually join one as part of the local library, the recreational or community center, the community college, or online. Many papers will post book club notices, as well. Hey, and you could start one, advertising in local coffee shops, recreation centers, etc.
Volunteer
That one seems like a no-brainer, but, seriously, have you ever considered the many charities to which you could give your time? Your local civic association is always in need of volunteers for projects like “let’s clean up the park before a hundred dogs crap on it again” and Toys-for-Tots, Christmas in April, and so on. Don’t forget about all your local politicians who need help with their campaigns. If one impresses you, offer to knock on a few doors for her or him. Host a cheese and cracker party for the community to get to know the candidate.
These are not only friend-making possibilities, they are networking opportunities and a chance to give back and feel good about that. Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry gets a girl’s number off of an AIDS walk? Bingo. That’s what I’m talking about.
